either the fates are too busy to measure my piece of string...
or they've done it so quickly that it's been unrolled, measured, snipped and sent in an express envelope... no word back from my deluge of emails... maybe it's just me not seeing things in a more relaxed way... it will take time and patience... it's a different world over there.... not as zap boom pronto as things are here...
another grey day... I think it's been like this every day since I've been back. I'm hoping the weather can at least help it's self from pissing down with rain tomorrow as I'm out to test out my new London cycle guide and on Sunday... I hope to mostly be doing the same thing. Hopefully it will be cost effective.
random question...
are cranberry's and black current's in any way related?
Had a good chat with Dan last night. It's always nice to get someone else's perspective on my desire to move to Spain.
relaxing weekend ... (long weekend!) here I come!
23.5.03
22.5.03
what a strange night
nope I wasn't up late watching American HBO programming... I went to bed at 11...
at 1h30 in the morning I bolted awake... no apparent reason or impetus... Now, sleep to me is one of my most natural things... I fall asleep very easily (sometimes too easily) and it never takes me more than 5 mins. I never wake in the night and generally sleep through most disruptions... Thus why awaking at 1h30 was so very strange to me.
Sometime in the night or this morning I had this very vivid dream... I was in my elementary school... In the corridor just in front of the gym, when for some reason I realized I was with my friend Brad from Ottawa... He leaned in to kiss me and I stopped him... I then took out my retainer... chucked it in my pocked and then went back in for the snog. How odd is that? what on earth could that mean?!?!?!
It's clearly not Friday yet and my morning gyming sessions have been yet again replaced by post work biking sessions. I'm in love with stationary bike number 7... oh yes... it's official.
I stumbled upon the most jammy website yesterday... it lists all the digital communication company's in Seville. I mean, how freaking lucky was that? 23 emails later I sit and wait... watching the fates unwind, measure and cut the fabric that is my destiny... well that sounds a little dramatic... but any time now folks!
nope I wasn't up late watching American HBO programming... I went to bed at 11...
at 1h30 in the morning I bolted awake... no apparent reason or impetus... Now, sleep to me is one of my most natural things... I fall asleep very easily (sometimes too easily) and it never takes me more than 5 mins. I never wake in the night and generally sleep through most disruptions... Thus why awaking at 1h30 was so very strange to me.
Sometime in the night or this morning I had this very vivid dream... I was in my elementary school... In the corridor just in front of the gym, when for some reason I realized I was with my friend Brad from Ottawa... He leaned in to kiss me and I stopped him... I then took out my retainer... chucked it in my pocked and then went back in for the snog. How odd is that? what on earth could that mean?!?!?!
It's clearly not Friday yet and my morning gyming sessions have been yet again replaced by post work biking sessions. I'm in love with stationary bike number 7... oh yes... it's official.
I stumbled upon the most jammy website yesterday... it lists all the digital communication company's in Seville. I mean, how freaking lucky was that? 23 emails later I sit and wait... watching the fates unwind, measure and cut the fabric that is my destiny... well that sounds a little dramatic... but any time now folks!
21.5.03
well well well
what can I say?
some things are easier to predict than others... *smiles*
one of the unpredictable things is... that I scored a meeting with a company in Seville... now it's just up to me to haul ass over there and hopefully round up a few more meetings to make it a worthwhile journey. I don't think I'll manage to arrange it while Siobhan is available so it will be a real baptism by fire If I'm in the city on my own... Next mission is getting time off of work!?!?!? that will be the most difficult of all seeing as it's very busy here of late....
It's hump day.... middle of the week... little sleep due to the sopranos last night. Gosh this series if finally getting good! The first few episodes were such snoozers!
Spooks is coming back soon... six feet under starts again on Sunday... and *mutters* big brother starts on Friday I think these are arguments that stand up on their own as to why I shouldn't move!
19.5.03
I am at a loss...
I refuse to give up writing my blog simply due to the fact that someone is insisting on barraging my comments with their reflections and accusations. Break-ups are never easy but there is a very fine line between not letting go and harassment. Ah well. I guess I have not choice but to just go on and hope that one day soon it will stop.
Had a super busy weekend... Caught up with Dearbhla... whom sadly lost her job. It's a blessing in disguise we hope as she's so swell I'm crossing my fingers and toes that her and Micha both find new fab jobs in no time. I also caught up with Hon and helped him buy two really pretty necklaces for his gf in Japan :) Partook in Dan's b'day celebrations on Saturday which was a good laugh.
Spoke with Siobhan who's off to Belgium in a few weeks to explore branching her consultancy across to there too! Think I'll head back to Seville at the end of next month and check out some employment possibilities (lol)
I refuse to give up writing my blog simply due to the fact that someone is insisting on barraging my comments with their reflections and accusations. Break-ups are never easy but there is a very fine line between not letting go and harassment. Ah well. I guess I have not choice but to just go on and hope that one day soon it will stop.
Had a super busy weekend... Caught up with Dearbhla... whom sadly lost her job. It's a blessing in disguise we hope as she's so swell I'm crossing my fingers and toes that her and Micha both find new fab jobs in no time. I also caught up with Hon and helped him buy two really pretty necklaces for his gf in Japan :) Partook in Dan's b'day celebrations on Saturday which was a good laugh.
Spoke with Siobhan who's off to Belgium in a few weeks to explore branching her consultancy across to there too! Think I'll head back to Seville at the end of next month and check out some employment possibilities (lol)
16.5.03
James James Robinson Robinson
This morning I received the sweetest email from my friend James in Ottawa. He's so great! We lost touch for a while after I moved but have been in touch off and on over the past few months. He's going through a bit of a rough spell as his little boy is moving out of town with the mother and they'll be about 6 hours away from each other. My heart goes out to him as I know what an amazing father he is to his child and it's sad that he's going to have to be so far away from the little guy. I'm not in touch with many people from back in Ottawa anymore... we're all scattered around the world. It's funny how a few words from him bring me swirling back to the days where we hung out at zahpods before it was over run by all the 'jocks' back in the day where we could queue jump and pop in there leaving our massive winter coats at his place that was next door. The bjork, the stone roses... 'I wanna be adored' ah the fun times we had. I'm fully aware that I broke James' heart when I broke up with him. I know this and I will always feel bad about it. I'm very lucky to still have him as a friend.
it's grey and rainy today and I'm dreaming of Spain.... also realizing that I have to get my arse into conversational Spanish lessons in a hurry if I want to get things in order.
we're off at lunch today for celebratory drinks today to mark the launch of the FR portal that happened while I was away last week. Not particularly in the mood for drinking mid-day. I don't think I'll ever become accustomed to mid day drinking rituals in this country.... it feels too naughty!
This morning I received the sweetest email from my friend James in Ottawa. He's so great! We lost touch for a while after I moved but have been in touch off and on over the past few months. He's going through a bit of a rough spell as his little boy is moving out of town with the mother and they'll be about 6 hours away from each other. My heart goes out to him as I know what an amazing father he is to his child and it's sad that he's going to have to be so far away from the little guy. I'm not in touch with many people from back in Ottawa anymore... we're all scattered around the world. It's funny how a few words from him bring me swirling back to the days where we hung out at zahpods before it was over run by all the 'jocks' back in the day where we could queue jump and pop in there leaving our massive winter coats at his place that was next door. The bjork, the stone roses... 'I wanna be adored' ah the fun times we had. I'm fully aware that I broke James' heart when I broke up with him. I know this and I will always feel bad about it. I'm very lucky to still have him as a friend.
it's grey and rainy today and I'm dreaming of Spain.... also realizing that I have to get my arse into conversational Spanish lessons in a hurry if I want to get things in order.
we're off at lunch today for celebratory drinks today to mark the launch of the FR portal that happened while I was away last week. Not particularly in the mood for drinking mid-day. I don't think I'll ever become accustomed to mid day drinking rituals in this country.... it feels too naughty!
15.5.03
I am the complete antithesis of my humour yesterday
I've got a spring in my step ad smile on my face and a glow in my belly. (no i'm not pregnant). Well it would be the immaculate conception if I were... I'll just leave it at that.
My boss is away today and the sun is shining. I'm probably wearing the most dodgy outfit I've put together in a while involving fishnet stockings... high top converse and a red hooded jumper. I feel like a tarted out little red riding hood but I don't care. Now if someone would be kind enough to hook me up with some peeps in Seville for a job then please please please feel free to contact me.
What else is up? hmm lets see. Spoke with Siobhan this morning on messenger and she said the her consultancy is picking up and that she's got another job training and may even have a contact from London shipping over a horse for her to train and compete with... which would supplement her income and strengthen her consultancy name! At this rate she may just need an assistant some time soon! !?!?!?
Sean is still humming and hawwing over his life that's in transition... no amount of bollocking from me seems to make him 'turn it into a positive' as my old boss would say. He'll click on to it. Got better advice for him? Tell him!
tenga un día fabuloso
I've got a spring in my step ad smile on my face and a glow in my belly. (no i'm not pregnant). Well it would be the immaculate conception if I were... I'll just leave it at that.
My boss is away today and the sun is shining. I'm probably wearing the most dodgy outfit I've put together in a while involving fishnet stockings... high top converse and a red hooded jumper. I feel like a tarted out little red riding hood but I don't care. Now if someone would be kind enough to hook me up with some peeps in Seville for a job then please please please feel free to contact me.
What else is up? hmm lets see. Spoke with Siobhan this morning on messenger and she said the her consultancy is picking up and that she's got another job training and may even have a contact from London shipping over a horse for her to train and compete with... which would supplement her income and strengthen her consultancy name! At this rate she may just need an assistant some time soon! !?!?!?
Sean is still humming and hawwing over his life that's in transition... no amount of bollocking from me seems to make him 'turn it into a positive' as my old boss would say. He'll click on to it. Got better advice for him? Tell him!
tenga un día fabuloso
14.5.03
this day is dragging
I think my hormones are churning... it's the one unholy day of the month where for my sake and for the sake of all those around me I should just be alone! I wish Hazel would just listen to me!
the post holiday bubble didn't burst but it slowly disintegrated in the London smog. The Strawberry tea I'm drinking is calming me a bit but it's not helping me stay awake. Watching the Sopranos on Tuesday night is always a dangerous thing as I get to sleep so late!
today I do not want to re-integrate... I do not want to play well with others *stamps foot*
I think my hormones are churning... it's the one unholy day of the month where for my sake and for the sake of all those around me I should just be alone! I wish Hazel would just listen to me!
the post holiday bubble didn't burst but it slowly disintegrated in the London smog. The Strawberry tea I'm drinking is calming me a bit but it's not helping me stay awake. Watching the Sopranos on Tuesday night is always a dangerous thing as I get to sleep so late!
today I do not want to re-integrate... I do not want to play well with others *stamps foot*
12.5.03
so as per usual when I have too much to say I think it's best that I just jot down some high points of my holiday... perhaps expanding on them later.
day one
-arriving Thursday and heading straight to Seville and went to the festival. the costumes were so pretty and the whole city was alive! with music and dance. it was truly a wicked night. Trailing around the different casettas
-finding the only public casetta with drag queens... or 'fake women' as Tiago called them... how we managed to do that... I'll never know!
-winding up at a gay bar at the suggestion of one of Tiago's clients (the hilarity comes from the fact that Tiago is not gay) and after the 'fake women' was already a little shaken
-dancing and drinking and laughing till 4am
day 2
-witnessing a bloke have an unfortunate but hilarious incident involving a used condom falling out of his pocket in the middle of the street.
-amazing breakfast in a local restaurant in the Jewish quarter of Seville
-did I mention I'm going to move to Seville?
-drive to a horse ranch for a business chat with a man who simply could not sit still while negotiating with Siobhan... me standing outside desperately trying to rid myself of my white London hue
-bob marley and giggles and deliriousness on the way back to Portugal
-sleeeeeeeeeeep
day 3
-beautiful bbq at Sally and Tony's farm... the weather was amazing
-tan... nope not a chance... still as white as a snowflake
-arrival of Line and Sophie... annouk's cousin and friend and her two babies waalt and daan from Belgium
-girlie giggles
day 4
why can't I remember anything?
day 5
-slept till 11
-there was rain
-yummy Belgian food
-major business planning with Siobhan... building her a consultancy model (which ROCKS btw)
-drink
-gossip
-girlie chats
day 6
-helping Siobhan train her horses and ponies
-learning how to walk a horse... and generally trying to be of assistance... city girl with horses... never a dull moment
-boat ride with Tiago
-drinks
-crying babies
-dizzying amounts of Flemish and Portuguese mixed... I was in language overload
day 7
-more horse training
-trip to badajoz to visit Oopie and Soleil and check on some ponies that Sally has living there
-trip to Carrefour (including the purchase of a lovely pair of red sandals for me and my seestor)
-drinks
-dinner in a local restaurant including more than 11 beers between Sio, Marina and I including food that cost 21 Euros (gasps! how inexpensive!)
-crying babies
day 8
-witnessing a gypsy kid get struck by a car in town... and watching no one help him except Siobhan... I dared not as I couldn't communicate to him but no one else would go near the little guy cause he was a gypsy
-boat trip with annouk, line, sophie, all the kids and some of annouk's relatives
-the most thrilling motorcycle ride of my life wearing nothing more than a mini skirt and flip flops and no helmet. Over bumpy terrain, though olive groves. It was the most terrifying thing but also the most fun/stupid thing I've done in a long long time.
-Hugo landing the job he wanted in Spain (thus securing his ticket out of his limited possibilities of work in Portugal) BIG celebrating for him!
day 9
-lots of sunning and relaxing
-car trip into the Spanish mountains
-buying a huge picnic lunch for under 10 euros for 3 people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-picnic by the side of the road... playing football, laughing... taking pictures
-stopping random donkey drivers to ask if they had a bourra for sale to mate with Siobhan's Donkey Eeore
-picking up a very old man who was hitching and giving him a lift to his house to help him avoid the heat and the long journey!
-night time trip into Evora with the boys for a friend's b'day party
-controlling my laughter at the age difference and the major language barriers between the kids at the party and me... had a blast anyway
-watching Hugo attempt the pseudo juggling tricks that the hippy girls were doing outside of the cathedral including the wiggling of the hips!
-staying out way too late
day 10
-recovery
-napping
-afternoon bbq
-donkey hair cuts!
-dinner under the stars
day 11
-loading up the car with Hugo to be dropped in Spain at his new job... lots of good byes
-stopping at a festa just on the border and having a beer... lots of lovely Spanish traditional dress and lots of pretty horses...
-noticing that the festa was in the middle of have a mass (and they were serving beer) now mass with booze.... that's a concept!
-honking and every car we passed, waving and laughing!
-did I mention how friendly the Spanish people are?
-lunch with Hugos new boss in a sandy (western looking ) village
-driving along side a massive motorcycle rally along the coast on the way to the airport
-quick check in and immediate boarding and off I was winging my way back to London town.
I'm still a glow from all the wonderful fun I had.
I will surely never forget it!
Thanks Siobhan and Annouk!
day one
-arriving Thursday and heading straight to Seville and went to the festival. the costumes were so pretty and the whole city was alive! with music and dance. it was truly a wicked night. Trailing around the different casettas
-finding the only public casetta with drag queens... or 'fake women' as Tiago called them... how we managed to do that... I'll never know!
-winding up at a gay bar at the suggestion of one of Tiago's clients (the hilarity comes from the fact that Tiago is not gay) and after the 'fake women' was already a little shaken
-dancing and drinking and laughing till 4am
day 2
-witnessing a bloke have an unfortunate but hilarious incident involving a used condom falling out of his pocket in the middle of the street.
-amazing breakfast in a local restaurant in the Jewish quarter of Seville
-did I mention I'm going to move to Seville?
-drive to a horse ranch for a business chat with a man who simply could not sit still while negotiating with Siobhan... me standing outside desperately trying to rid myself of my white London hue
-bob marley and giggles and deliriousness on the way back to Portugal
-sleeeeeeeeeeep
day 3
-beautiful bbq at Sally and Tony's farm... the weather was amazing
-tan... nope not a chance... still as white as a snowflake
-arrival of Line and Sophie... annouk's cousin and friend and her two babies waalt and daan from Belgium
-girlie giggles
day 4
why can't I remember anything?
day 5
-slept till 11
-there was rain
-yummy Belgian food
-major business planning with Siobhan... building her a consultancy model (which ROCKS btw)
-drink
-gossip
-girlie chats
day 6
-helping Siobhan train her horses and ponies
-learning how to walk a horse... and generally trying to be of assistance... city girl with horses... never a dull moment
-boat ride with Tiago
-drinks
-crying babies
-dizzying amounts of Flemish and Portuguese mixed... I was in language overload
day 7
-more horse training
-trip to badajoz to visit Oopie and Soleil and check on some ponies that Sally has living there
-trip to Carrefour (including the purchase of a lovely pair of red sandals for me and my seestor)
-drinks
-dinner in a local restaurant including more than 11 beers between Sio, Marina and I including food that cost 21 Euros (gasps! how inexpensive!)
-crying babies
day 8
-witnessing a gypsy kid get struck by a car in town... and watching no one help him except Siobhan... I dared not as I couldn't communicate to him but no one else would go near the little guy cause he was a gypsy
-boat trip with annouk, line, sophie, all the kids and some of annouk's relatives
-the most thrilling motorcycle ride of my life wearing nothing more than a mini skirt and flip flops and no helmet. Over bumpy terrain, though olive groves. It was the most terrifying thing but also the most fun/stupid thing I've done in a long long time.
-Hugo landing the job he wanted in Spain (thus securing his ticket out of his limited possibilities of work in Portugal) BIG celebrating for him!
day 9
-lots of sunning and relaxing
-car trip into the Spanish mountains
-buying a huge picnic lunch for under 10 euros for 3 people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-picnic by the side of the road... playing football, laughing... taking pictures
-stopping random donkey drivers to ask if they had a bourra for sale to mate with Siobhan's Donkey Eeore
-picking up a very old man who was hitching and giving him a lift to his house to help him avoid the heat and the long journey!
-night time trip into Evora with the boys for a friend's b'day party
-controlling my laughter at the age difference and the major language barriers between the kids at the party and me... had a blast anyway
-watching Hugo attempt the pseudo juggling tricks that the hippy girls were doing outside of the cathedral including the wiggling of the hips!
-staying out way too late
day 10
-recovery
-napping
-afternoon bbq
-donkey hair cuts!
-dinner under the stars
day 11
-loading up the car with Hugo to be dropped in Spain at his new job... lots of good byes
-stopping at a festa just on the border and having a beer... lots of lovely Spanish traditional dress and lots of pretty horses...
-noticing that the festa was in the middle of have a mass (and they were serving beer) now mass with booze.... that's a concept!
-honking and every car we passed, waving and laughing!
-did I mention how friendly the Spanish people are?
-lunch with Hugos new boss in a sandy (western looking ) village
-driving along side a massive motorcycle rally along the coast on the way to the airport
-quick check in and immediate boarding and off I was winging my way back to London town.
I'm still a glow from all the wonderful fun I had.
I will surely never forget it!
Thanks Siobhan and Annouk!
i'm back
I have a hundred stories to tell. My holiday has changed the way I look at a lot of things in life and what I want to achieve and where I want to live. I will eventually jot it all down... probably within the next few days... or maybe even today if I can manage.
My company is moving to South Kensington. This is a big shitter. I will have no recourse but to travel by tube to work... something that I have actively avoided for a long time. No matter really, I think some plans are falling into place... the fates are aligning.
I've had an amazing amount of time to think about things in the past few days and have come up with some pretty liberating thoughts... those will also follow in due course...
I have a hundred stories to tell. My holiday has changed the way I look at a lot of things in life and what I want to achieve and where I want to live. I will eventually jot it all down... probably within the next few days... or maybe even today if I can manage.
My company is moving to South Kensington. This is a big shitter. I will have no recourse but to travel by tube to work... something that I have actively avoided for a long time. No matter really, I think some plans are falling into place... the fates are aligning.
I've had an amazing amount of time to think about things in the past few days and have come up with some pretty liberating thoughts... those will also follow in due course...
30.4.03
28.4.03
yea so...
as it goes the pay rise ends up with me making less money than before... (different tax bracket) cruel and unfair! Such is life! I can but laugh it off
bought a new bike over the weekend. it's purdy. Nice to be mobile again... it was/ is still mildly terrifying being on the wrong side of the road... All my road biking reflexes are backwards... At least after cycling for a while I'll gear myself up for one day driving on the 'other' side as I've learned to say... make the mistake of saying 'wrong' side of the road and you risk upsetting peeps. Cycled for 4 h yesterday with lots of stopping and decision making as to which trail to follow... The heath is no place for biking... there are a few trails marked for cyclists but it's predominantly marked with big 'no cycling signs'... didn't seem to stop other people so we scurried along the 'no cycle' paths heading all pedestrians... nothing wrong with that? I can't even begin to describe the discomfort that a new saddle brings to you the day after the first time you use it. OUCH!
The rest of my bonus is going towards a trip to Portugal... I'm very anxious to get out of here as I'm losing steam here at work by the minute... If I don't get out soon they may just be asking me to leave! Just kidding. I found a great flight for Wednesday but was told I can't go then... it was a BA flight too... I really was hoping to not have to fly with the masses (sporting their England jerseys, Reebok trainers, gold hoop earrings carrying portable cd players) alas I think I haven't much choice in the matter now. Ah well. Sio says the sea is already warm... Rain is forecast here for the next few days and apparently well into next week too... can't think of a better reason to jump ship now.
Ah yes... the move, yup looks like I'm moving again. Turns out that after 6 months on a lease we can leave with only a month's notice. The neighbour situation will never improve... when you live next to a sound studio there isn't anything you can do to avoid the noise and the land lords are unable to do anything either so we just decided to feck it and pack up and move someone better. Low and behold, the rental market has serious come down. There are tons of beautiful places in the area I want to live in for even less than we're paying right now... very exciting indeed. I hate moving but it will be nicer to live in a less 'ghetto tastic' neighbourhood and cut some time off of travelling to work.
back to the salt mines I suppose...
25.4.03
24.4.03
oh yes...
it is indeed possible to can your entire afternoon downloading new music to your mini disc... not a good idea but very possible. Not that I would know... no, no of course I would never...
staff meeting/drinks after work tonight... we've got to go to say thanks for the raises and bonus' etc... such low social energies these days so don't' know how long I'll last.
*sings*
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown, so let go, let go, jump in cause it's so amasing, yea... it's alright cause there's beauty in the breakdown'.
23.4.03
dunno if it's just the culmination of things that have been brewing lately...
but i'm wondering if it's possible to be suffering from post traumatic stress / repetitive stress disorder of sorts brought on by our neighbours constant pounding music stemming from their 41h party they threw way back when in March just after they moved in. I think It's a strong possibility. I live in constant apprehension as to when they're going to start blasting their music... and if on the off chance the neighbours on the other side might just join in and crank their stereo at the same time... just for good measure... We suffered a lot of loud music this weekend. On Saturday, I called.... I complained ... they turned it off... but it was 4am... and to be quite honest it's clear that it's not acceptable to even be put in a position where I have to ring them in the middle of the night nor deal with his seedy innuendos about me being 'in bed' when I rang.... we've told the landlord.... they now say that there is nothing that they can do... they say it's hard to get rid of people once they've moved in... surly now that this is their 4th warning from the landlord... that has to count for something? I think my flatmates are getting sick of me getting so upset about it... but you know when something really sets you off it's hard to shake... Now I'm living in fear as I know they've been issued another warning and fear running into them on my way in... I know I shouldn't be so upset... I know it's my home but it's really irking me... and it's not like I'm being the inconsiderate neighbour...
4 day weekends are really great if:
*it stays warm throughout
*someone doesn't die
*you don't have a broken hot water heater for 4 days
*you don't eat too much cheese
*you don't live anywhere near a dj
but i'm wondering if it's possible to be suffering from post traumatic stress / repetitive stress disorder of sorts brought on by our neighbours constant pounding music stemming from their 41h party they threw way back when in March just after they moved in. I think It's a strong possibility. I live in constant apprehension as to when they're going to start blasting their music... and if on the off chance the neighbours on the other side might just join in and crank their stereo at the same time... just for good measure... We suffered a lot of loud music this weekend. On Saturday, I called.... I complained ... they turned it off... but it was 4am... and to be quite honest it's clear that it's not acceptable to even be put in a position where I have to ring them in the middle of the night nor deal with his seedy innuendos about me being 'in bed' when I rang.... we've told the landlord.... they now say that there is nothing that they can do... they say it's hard to get rid of people once they've moved in... surly now that this is their 4th warning from the landlord... that has to count for something? I think my flatmates are getting sick of me getting so upset about it... but you know when something really sets you off it's hard to shake... Now I'm living in fear as I know they've been issued another warning and fear running into them on my way in... I know I shouldn't be so upset... I know it's my home but it's really irking me... and it's not like I'm being the inconsiderate neighbour...
4 day weekends are really great if:
*it stays warm throughout
*someone doesn't die
*you don't have a broken hot water heater for 4 days
*you don't eat too much cheese
*you don't live anywhere near a dj
now this...
is what I call quite good!
for all ye who don't know her... she be the bird who does the vocals on tons of Tricky's albums
is what I call quite good!
for all ye who don't know her... she be the bird who does the vocals on tons of Tricky's albums
16.4.03
14.4.03
so...
while at the gym this morning I couldn't help but notice this one lady whom I'd seen last week... She's so terribly thin it's hard to explain... she's got a waist that is no more than 19' she's either got a medical problem or a severe eating disorder... She does really really long turns on the treadmill and stepper on the highest levels... She pumps large amounts of weights and pushes herself so hard. It's hard not to watch out of fascination. I know it's none of my business but man oh man... So today I'm sitting there in the gym and completing my work out... and there she is toiling away punishing her 6 stone torso (no exaggeration) and I make eye contact with her (un intentional of course) and I give the reflexive 'oh my god I've been caught staring/being rude) Then I started to think about things in a different way... I'm guessing most people in the gym look at her in disgust as they watch her destroy what's left of her tiny body... but then I thought wait a minute... If she is ill, then who is anyone to judge her? And if she's got a problem... maybe if people were nicer to her she might gain more confidence and maybe confront her problem... I felt a bigger person for working that out...
Then in the mirror I slipped back in to selfish mode and was convinced that she chose the mirror next to mine in the hair dryer room so she could look thinner than me (i.e.. if you want to look thinner hang around people fatter than you ideology) I didn't want to be the fatty! LOL... Okay so yea maybe she stood next to me because I smiled at her (refer to statement above) but I guess 'bitter me' can't always win in my attempt at logical inner dialogue. God i'm so terrible *evil grin*
Brighton this weekend was lovely. It was nice and relaxing... some of the highlights/lowlights were :
-drinking fabulous long island iced teas
-meeting some really nice friendly people (i.e.. the shop keeper whom we convinced to buy one of her own belts cause it was just too fabulous... and she was tiny and probably wouldn't sell it anyways!)
-strolling along the pier
-relaxing on the beach
-witnessing a totally drunk girl throw up on her table at 2pm sat. afternoon! (super gross! it was her b'day)
-great breakfasts at the b&b
-lounging near the pavilion (all good till a HUGE seagull decided to poop right square in the middle of Hazel's back.. EWWW!)
-realizing that both miss H and I sometimes despair about being 'thesbians' *more on that topic another day*
All in all a nice well need break!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY miss Hazel who turned the big 29 today! And consequently has given up smoking :0)
while at the gym this morning I couldn't help but notice this one lady whom I'd seen last week... She's so terribly thin it's hard to explain... she's got a waist that is no more than 19' she's either got a medical problem or a severe eating disorder... She does really really long turns on the treadmill and stepper on the highest levels... She pumps large amounts of weights and pushes herself so hard. It's hard not to watch out of fascination. I know it's none of my business but man oh man... So today I'm sitting there in the gym and completing my work out... and there she is toiling away punishing her 6 stone torso (no exaggeration) and I make eye contact with her (un intentional of course) and I give the reflexive 'oh my god I've been caught staring/being rude) Then I started to think about things in a different way... I'm guessing most people in the gym look at her in disgust as they watch her destroy what's left of her tiny body... but then I thought wait a minute... If she is ill, then who is anyone to judge her? And if she's got a problem... maybe if people were nicer to her she might gain more confidence and maybe confront her problem... I felt a bigger person for working that out...
Then in the mirror I slipped back in to selfish mode and was convinced that she chose the mirror next to mine in the hair dryer room so she could look thinner than me (i.e.. if you want to look thinner hang around people fatter than you ideology) I didn't want to be the fatty! LOL... Okay so yea maybe she stood next to me because I smiled at her (refer to statement above) but I guess 'bitter me' can't always win in my attempt at logical inner dialogue. God i'm so terrible *evil grin*
Brighton this weekend was lovely. It was nice and relaxing... some of the highlights/lowlights were :
-drinking fabulous long island iced teas
-meeting some really nice friendly people (i.e.. the shop keeper whom we convinced to buy one of her own belts cause it was just too fabulous... and she was tiny and probably wouldn't sell it anyways!)
-strolling along the pier
-relaxing on the beach
-witnessing a totally drunk girl throw up on her table at 2pm sat. afternoon! (super gross! it was her b'day)
-great breakfasts at the b&b
-lounging near the pavilion (all good till a HUGE seagull decided to poop right square in the middle of Hazel's back.. EWWW!)
-realizing that both miss H and I sometimes despair about being 'thesbians' *more on that topic another day*
All in all a nice well need break!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY miss Hazel who turned the big 29 today! And consequently has given up smoking :0)
11.4.03
i'm soon to be off...
on a surprise mini holiday with miss h. she's taking me to Brighton this weekend (okay so it's not much of a surprise but you get the gist) I can't wait as I really need to get out of the city and just unwind for a bit. Dang I forgot my camera!
Just got back from having lunch in the pub down the road with Madame jo jo. She's looking well all suited and booted in her new shoreditch hair style! God I really can't stand the smell of smoke anymore... I sit here at my desk and the fumes are just trapped in every fibre of my clothing!
Sean informs me that he's got a lead on my black monochrome allstars in Ottawa... how exciting is that? oh, very very!
on a surprise mini holiday with miss h. she's taking me to Brighton this weekend (okay so it's not much of a surprise but you get the gist) I can't wait as I really need to get out of the city and just unwind for a bit. Dang I forgot my camera!
Just got back from having lunch in the pub down the road with Madame jo jo. She's looking well all suited and booted in her new shoreditch hair style! God I really can't stand the smell of smoke anymore... I sit here at my desk and the fumes are just trapped in every fibre of my clothing!
Sean informs me that he's got a lead on my black monochrome allstars in Ottawa... how exciting is that? oh, very very!
10.4.03
I've been to the gym 3 times this week in the morning
what a change... going early really gives me a new spark into being there...and I consequently always end up at work on time :) The only downfall to this is the horrible catty women that are there in the morning.... they are all so prissy and spend so much time in front of the mirrors pruning and prissing... I skipped the drying hair thing this morning to avoid them all... I've never seen so many creams, hair products and instruments, makeup and accessories in my life...
it was snowing this morning! goodness what is the world coming to? Just last week It was 18 degrees and warm...
Lisa sent me the cutest pictures of her baby today, she's getting so big so quickly!
well the sun is out now and the mountain of work that's due for tomorrow is still just that... a mountain.
I on the other hand am wanting to be a river.
what a change... going early really gives me a new spark into being there...and I consequently always end up at work on time :) The only downfall to this is the horrible catty women that are there in the morning.... they are all so prissy and spend so much time in front of the mirrors pruning and prissing... I skipped the drying hair thing this morning to avoid them all... I've never seen so many creams, hair products and instruments, makeup and accessories in my life...
it was snowing this morning! goodness what is the world coming to? Just last week It was 18 degrees and warm...
Lisa sent me the cutest pictures of her baby today, she's getting so big so quickly!
well the sun is out now and the mountain of work that's due for tomorrow is still just that... a mountain.
I on the other hand am wanting to be a river.
8.4.03
one year ago...
to this day my daddy passed away... now I say daddy like a child so does my sister... He was almost always daddy but sometimes dad or father if we were really cross with him. It was quick and imprevue... It still hurts so much sometimes... Solace if found in finding light in life... this morning in my body pump class I gazed out the widow into the beautiful blue sky, and thought... man... if he's out there somewhere I hope he's having a good time.
I'm trying very hard not to cry while I write this... my co-workers already think me mad... but I know I have to jot this down in an effort to bring some sort of catharsis to this part of my life.
Anyone with a dad still here... give them a big hug or a call today... for me, please?
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